I had a hard night last night with my eyes feeling so horrible - swollen, dry, cloudy vision, a gritty feeling under the lids, they want to close automatically, but then closing them makes the sensations worse. It kept me up all night and seemed to worsen by the hour all day today.
The doctors thought it could be a swelling in the brain due to the toxic effects of chemo (called chemical meningitis). So I got an MRI. The transporter wheeled me all the way downstairs, out the doors and into the street, around the ambulances at ER, side by side with a moving car, to a trailer where they put me on an elevated platform. With the bright light, and how my vision was cloudy, seeing the white coats waiting above, I felt like I was being taken for testing by aliens in an episode of X-files!
The MRI was a half hour long torture session, but I prayed and sang songs to the Lord in my heart the whole time, promising to praise His name aloud when it was all through. It was a sweet time in that place despite the agony - it was like He met me there and swept me away at times to get my mind off of where I was and how I felt. You bet I praised His name when they finally wheeled me out, telling the MRI worker that Jesus helped me through that one - He really did! I felt like He just wanted her to know.
So, long story short, the MRI turned out NORMAL - no swelling of the brain, praise God! The next possibility, which was likely, was that I had an infection in my upper eye lids. Well, the ophthalmologist came by for her examination and said nope, doesn't look like an infection, just SEVERELY dry eyes, absolutely no tears in them whatsoever. She also threw out a fancy phrase - Myasthenia Gravis - which I'm not sure about, but I think it means the eyelid muscles are weak for some reason and it's really hard to keep my eyes open. So the good news is no infection or brain swelling! For now, I need to put preservative-free drops in my eyes every hour. She gave me a sample box, but my nurse said the pharmacy doesn't carry these things, so I might have to get contraband eye drops from my husband. Strange pharmacy not to carry such things, when across the street is a really good pharmacy (L.M. Caldwell).
So please pray for my eyes - it still feels so badly, and I have just enough in me to get this post out.
Psalm 119:73-77
Your hands made me and formed me;
give me understanding to learn your commands.
May those who fear you rejoice when they see me,
for I have put my hope in your word.
I know, O LORD, that your laws are righteous,
and in faithfulness you have afflicted me.
May your unfailing love be my comfort,
according to your promise to your servant.
Let your compassion come to me that I may live,
for your law is my delight.
Hope Notes from Krista and Mike is a journal of encouragement as this Christian mom, and supportive husband and caregiver, face the ups and downs of a stem cell transplant after recurring leukemia. Start at the beginning by clicking September 2008 in the archives and reading forward. It's not always pretty, but it's real. We pray you will be blessed by these passages in some way.
1 comment:
WebMD doesn't say anything about pain associated with Myasthenia Gravis. It looks like it's some kind of attack on the muscle system, possibly as an auto-immune problem (even as a complication of SLE). It says that it can be affected by changes in thyroid function, surgery, radiation therapy, or infection. But, it also says that as part of diagnosing Myasthenia Gravis the doctors look for "difficulty holding your arms out at shoulder length for a reasonable length of time, or a weak grasp". Do you have trouble with this as well? This appears to be a permanent and progressive condition with no cure, though they can treat the symptoms with drugs and surgery. I wouldn't want to be applying that term to your condition loosely.
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